• Lucas North

Was Tyson Fury born to be wild?

NOMINATIVE DETERMINISM is the fancy name given to those who appear to gravitate towards their job title.

According to Wikipedia, the term first appeared in the New Scientist in 1994. The magazine noted a polar explorer named Daniel Snowman and urology researchers called Splatt and Weedon. Seriously, I couldn’t have made them up.

It would surely have brought a smile if you’d flicked on the TV when Andrew Drinkwater appeared on the BBC representing the Water Research Centre. I don’t know if the Beeb ever caught up with Scott Speed, the racing car driver; but surely it should have employed both meteorologists Amy Freeze and Storm Field to do its weather reports. Maybe we should have predicted Sara Blizzard getting the same job. By the way, is it just me or does Sara seem to lack a sunny disposition?

Fear the aptly named lawyer

Yes, there really was a US Republican candidate called Rich White and, apparently, a lawyer, possibly of Asian descent, called Sue Yoo. You may even have heard of the chef, Tom Kitchin, the runner, Aaron Farr or tree climbing champion, Scott Forest.

Did you foresee me mentioning the US analyst, who made political predictions, who went by the name of, wait for it, Krystal Ball?

I’ve either heard or made up some ‘dad jokes’ built around the same concept. I’m sure you could easily build your own quips around the award-winning optician called Dr Seymour, the pornstar, Ivor Biggun or the Scottish dentist, Phil MacAvity.

Heard the one about the Russian fizzy drinks salesman?

I remember similar wordplay from my schooldays. We’d talk about the names of made-up books and their aptly-named authors. Tigers In The Bed by Claude Balls was one of my favourites. And I could hardly wait to tell people about the Russian fizzy drinks salesman called Dropabottleofpopoff. Still rolls off the tongue quite nicely!

Knock-out name

Which leaves me with very little to add about Tyson Fury, who said he “felt like a beast” after knocking his equally ferocious-sounding opponent, Deontay Wilder, to the floor to become the world heavyweight champion on Saturday.

I don’t know how inclined people are to find jobs that suit their names. But I do know that when it happens, it makes those individuals more memorable and it also tends to brighten other people’s day.

Drop me a note in the comments section below if you have any favourite aptly-named job titles of your own.

And congratulations, Mr Fury.

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